Before It All
by Candykaykay2001
Summary: Prequel to My Suicide Note and Too Late. Please read those first before reading this. Before the suicide. Before the depression. Before the bullying. Before his friends left him. This is the start of the downward spiral towards insanity. This is the start of it all. Rated T for cutting later on, suicidal thoughts, bullying, and language. Recently Adopted by legolasisdeath.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I finally got this up! Ok so a couple of things before this starts. I won't be updating this every week or anything like that. I should have a schedule on when I'll be updating my stories on my profile so if you would like to know then please check it out. This should be about 20-21 chapters at the most and will be in three parts. Also there are some things that weren't mentioned in My Suicide Note that will be mentioned here so be prepared. Ok that's all I can think of at the moment so please enjoy.**

 **Warning: Cutting in later chapters and bullying**

 **I don't own Big Nate**

… **...**

My blue eyes scanned the big brick building as I hoisted my new purple backpack onto my shoulders frowning.

" Aren't you guys excited?! Were finally highschoolers! Now we have more homework and more tests and more..."

I narrowed my eyes and quietly unzipped my bag pulling out a large flat book. I raised it up high and smacked it across Francis's head.

His head cocked forward and I laughed as he turned around to glare at me.

I just shrugged my shoulders. " Don't talk about school like that because it warrants a slap to the head. I've been doing this since I've first met you so I don't know why your surprised."

Francis dropped his glare and rolled his eyes muttering under his breath. "You'll never change."

I just smirked and chuckled walking ahead of him toward the big glass entrance doors. " That's why you love me."

Pushing open the double doors I sighed dropping my shoulders as I stepped inside. Great. More school. More teachers. More homework. More expectations. This is going to be _great._

My feet dragged across the newly scrubbed tile floors groaning with each step as I made my way toward the front office, Francis close behind me.,

"You know maybe if you weren't so negative about school, you would actually find it pretty fun."

I rolled my eyes and clapped Francis on the shoulder. " Yeah...no. School sucks and will always suck. It's boring and a prison us children are forced to go to five days a week. How is that fun Francis? Tell me how in the world that is fun."

Francis just sighed. " You are such an idiot sometimes."

I rolled my eyes and pushed open the office door and mentally sighed at how boring main offices were. They really should spice it up. Like maybe with my comics. Just saying. I walked over to the front desk and hit the bell listening as it loudly rang throughout the quiet room.

We waited a minute and no one came.

I huffed and placed my hand over the bell smacking it repeatedly. Francis hit me one my shoulder. " Nate what are you doing?! I believe they heard it the first time."

I took a glance at Francis still smacking the bell repeatedly. " Yeah well if they heard it the first time someone would have came already."

We waited another minute the bell ringing through the quiet office as I smacked it. Finally someone came out and glared at me.

" Young man I would advise you quit doing that or your going to be the first individual to have detention on the first day of school."

It was a woman. An old woman. Like wrinkles and all who looked like she should have retired instead of working in a main office in a crappy high school. She had gray hair pulled into a tight bun and narrow face that had a big nose with glasses perched upon it and narrowed eyes. She looked like one of those stereotypical librarians. I took a glance at her name tag: Mrs Butts.

I had to stifle a laugh. Man she must have been made fun off like crazy over her name.

" Is there a reason why your here?" Mrs Butts said raising a gray eyebrow.

Clearing my throat, I smiled trying hard not to laugh. " Yes were here for our schedules."

She nodded and bent down to grab a box from under the desk. " Last name."

" Wright."

She started searching through for a while before she finally made it to the W's. " First name."

" Nate."

I wanted to scream at how slow this lady was going, but refrained myself. My dad wouldn't like me getting detention on the first day of school.

She pulled out a paper and handed it to me. Then she glared at me again. " Next time you visit the office please have more respect. Do you understand?"

I grumbled under my breathe rolling my eyes and nodded. She obviously didn't appreciate my attitude because she literally gave me the death stare before moving onto Francis smiling sweetly.

Man she didn't sound nice at all to me. I stomped towards the door arms folded. She's on my list.

I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for Francis to get his schedule and was about to leave without him when he finally came up behind me.

" Finally. That lady was mean." I said pushing the door open and wincing at how loud everything had become.

" I would be in a bad mood too if someone kept ringing a bell without stopping." Francis said coming to stand at my right side.

" So your on her side?" I asked.

" No. I'm not on anyone side. I'm just letting you know why she may have seemed a little agitated with you." He said.

I was about to argue with him, but I just sighed and looked at my schedule smiling.

 _ **Art...Mr Garcia**_

 _ **Math...Mrs Callahan**_

 _ **Science...Mr Smith**_

 _ **Graphic Design...Miss Jones**_

 _ **Spanish...Mrs Martinez**_

 _ **English...Mr Brady**_

I nodded and smiled a bit wider at some of my classes. Then I almost screamed bloody murder about to run out of this school and never come back when I saw the teacher for my last class.

 _ **Social Studies...Mrs Godfrey**_

"No...No...NO!:" I screamed loudly turning a few head including Francis's.

" What are you screaming about? Did they not give you art like you wanted?" Francis monotonously said looking at me.

I felt faint. " No." I whispered. " They gave me art."

" Ok well then why did you just scream "no" like a crazy man?" Francis said confused.

" Mrs Godfrey. The she devil is back to make my life as miserable as possible. I thought I finally got away from that fat tub of lard and now I have to see her again for another year." I whispered my eyes wide.

I heard Francis mumble something under his breath. " What was that?" I asked.

" I said you are being childish. I thought you let that stupid feud with Mrs Godfrey go." Francis said pushing up his glasses to pinch his nose.

" I never did. How could you say something like that?" I asked offended as I clutched a hand to my chest.

He was about to say something but was cut short by a shout from the entrance.

" Nate! Francis!"

I turned my head and a smile brightened my face as I saw Teddy, Dee Dee, and Chad waving at us with a smile on their faces.

I waved back and we maneuvered our way through the crowd to get to them. When we finally made it Dee Dee jumped an hugged me. Tight.

" Dee Dee can''t breathe."

She squeezed tighter. " I just haven't seen you guys in ages! I thought you may have died for gods sake!"

I rolled my eyes. " I'm here aren't I?"

She laughed squeezing me one last time before letting go. " True."

She went to go hug Francis just as tight and we laughed at the display. We all talked about our summer catching up with one another and comparing schedules.

Apparently I have my Science, Math, Art and English classes with Francis, Teddy and Chad. I have my Spanish class with Dee Dee.

I groaned. Now I have no one in Godzilla's class with me. Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.

We talked for a little longer until the bell rang. We all went our separate ways to our first class of the day since we didn't have lockers yet.

Despite having Godzilla again this year, I couldn't help but think that this year might be different from all the others.

I just didn't know that it wouldn't be good.

… **...**

 **Done! Short I know, but they should get longer as time goes. Please don't forget to check out the updating schedule for this. See you in the next chapter! Bye! :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh my god I'm so sorry! I had been meaning to update for ages now but with school work it hasn't been working in my favor and I had gotten sick so I couldn't write, but now I'm feeling a lot better so I decided to give you guys an early Christmas present! As for the updating schedule that I had put up...well it's a work in progress at the moment so I should have an official one up soon. Anyways please enjoy the next installment of Before It All!**

… **...**

 **A Month Later**

" Awwww come the fuck on! A D-? I knew Godzilla was out to get me!"

I heard Francis sigh beside me and I glared at him as he gave me this bored and uninterested look.

" Well maybe if you had studied instead of playing video games all day you would have gotten a better grade. Don't blame Mrs Godfrey for your short-comings. You can only blame yourself because it was your responsibility to study for the test which you didn't do."

I looked at him astonished. " Who's side are you on dude?"

Francis rolled his eyes. " One don't call me dude and two I'm not anyone's side. You were wondering why you got a D- so I told you why. If you can't accept the truth then that sucks for you."

I glared and pursed my lips a bit crumpling the paper up into a ball. " Your starting a conspiracy against me to make me fail. I can smell it."

Francis sighed exasperated. " Wow how did you know? I guess our plans were foiled."

" Ha!" I shouted pointing a finger at him a smile on my face.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. " I was being sarcastic genius. Though I probably shouldn't be calling you that since you don't have many brains as it is if you can't recognize sarcasm."

" Hurtful." I said clutching a hand to my heart pretending to be wounded.

I heard him chuckle and rub his eyes a little. I frowned concerned.

" Those contacts still bothering you dude?"

He glared at me about the dude thing but chose not to say anything. He nodded. " Yeah."

I bet you don't understand so I'll fill you in. About a week into school started, Francis showed up to school wearing contacts and this really cool leather jacket. Apparently he broke his glasses and needed contacts and as for the leather jacket he wanted to try something new. I wasn't opposed to that. It was nice to see him get out of his shell for a change. Though I would never tell him that to his face.

" Why not just get a new pair of glasses? I think your parents can afford them." I said.

He grunted. " They can. It's just that I want to try something new so I decided to keep the contacts until they run out."

" That's stupid as fuck Francis. If there bothering you, then you should just get new glasses. It's better than being uncomfortable most of the time."

" Language! Where did you even pick up cussing anyway?! Two it's none of your business what I do."

I chuckled softly. " I'm going to answer those in order. Don't tell me what the fuck to do. I'll speak however I want thank you very much. Family Guy and people. And if a friend of mine is uncomfortable with something then I want to help them as much as I can. "

" Well I don't need your help! So leave me alone about it!" He snapped.

I put my hands up in surrender. " Okay Captian Prissy-pants. I won't mention anymore about it."

He glared at me, but I could tell he looked relived. I frowned. I decided not to push further...yet.

… **...**

We were sitting at lunch laughing and talking trying to talk over the noisy chatter of the lunch room. We were being friends.

I don't know where it all went wrong.

It was like a switch had flipped.

Happy one minute.

Angry and depressed the next.

I shifted in my seat and waited for Francis to stop laughing at a joke Teddy had told. Once he had stopped, I took a deep breath and bluntly said:

" Francis what's going on with you?"'

He looked at me for a seconds and everyone around the table had become quiet. The lunchroom chatter didn't even pierce our bubble that had formed. Everything seemed completely silent to my ears.

He sighed. " Nate nothings wrong okay. Quit asking me."

I pressed on." Francis there is something wrong. You haven't been yourself. Now I love that your finally getting out of your shell for once because ever since I've met you you've always been a little shy, but I'm just wondering why? Why the sudden change? You never used to care what other people thought so I'm just wondering why your doing this now."

I could tell by the way his eye narrowed into thin slits that I should probably stop, but I continued to probe. I just wanted to know what was going on with Francis. I would accept that he was just trying to be a little different for once, but I want him to not change because of it.

" You've been a lot more moody and secretive than usually and you wont even hang out with me outside of school anymore. I just want to know _why_ Francis. That's all I want to know."

What I didn't expect was for Francis to slam his fist on the table rattling everything and stare at me through hate-filled eyes. I couldn't help but shiver because he never _never_ has looked at me that way before.

" Fine! You want to know why I've actually been turning cool? Why I don't hang out with you anymore?! It's because your a whiny, short-haired, _loser_ who thinks the world owes him every fucking thing and I'm sick of it! I've been moody because I've been wanting to get away from _you!_ You are a thorn in my side that won't ever go away and sometimes I wish we weren't even friends!"

I felt the heat drain from my face and my eyes widen in surprise as Francis's chest heaved up and down from the exertion of yelling.

I heard him take a deep breath and slam his hands on the table once more making me jump.

" I guess I'll tell you the whole story now because I pretty much gave it away. I was approached by one of the popular kids of our grade: Keith Reynolds, a while back when school first started and he offered me a chance to escape from this nerd persona of mine. All I had to do was start dressing cooler and hanging out with them every free chance I got. It wasn't that easy though. I had to leave the "spiky-haired weirdo kid" and then I could have my dream. Now I did feel guilty for a little while, but then I realized that I could never succeed with you around. You were just a burden. A _waste of space._ You treated me like shit most of my life with a few moments in between where you were a good friend, but it wasn't enough! _"_

Francis stood up and cracked his knuckles. " Bye Nate. And fair warning for the future: You better watch your back because were coming for your ass."

Then he walked away.

And the further he walked away the more the hurt in my chest grew ripping a large whole that didn't seem to want to repair itself. It was like I was bleeding from the inside and I couldn't stop the blood flow.

Ignoring the shocked looks of my only other friends and the cheers and hoots of the other children as Francis made his way to the popular table, I stood up and slowly walked out of the lunchroom trying to stop the onslaught of tears coming my way.

I lost my best friend.

My face screwed into a tight pained scowl.

He left me.

My vision started to sway as I made my way into the boys bathroom and into one of the stalls.

This is just like our fight back in sixth grade over the camera.

Except I didn't start it this time.

And this time there was no getting my best friend back.

Because he cut me loose.

For good.

… **...**

 **-Hand chapter slowly and backs away into corner.- I know pretty sucky chapter. Francis seems a wee bit OOC and I'm very sorry for that. But I promise that whenever I find some time the next chapter is going to be even better. I just really wanted to get something up for you guys because I felt bad about not updating in forever so I apologize dearly if this chapter in particular sucks. See you guys in the next chapter. Peace and Chicken Grease.**


	3. Author's Note

Hey guys. I know I haven't updated this in forever and I know it's been on hiatus for sometime, but I'm not updating this anymore. I'm done. I have no inspiration for this anymore and I don't want to keep you guys waiting any longer. But because I realize you guys really love this story, I'm willing to make a deal.

If anyone adopts this by September 22, than who ever adopts it has complete creative control over the rest of the story as long as you say it was originally my idea/creation. Please PM me before the end of the deadline if you wish to adopt this. You have until midnight on September 22.

If no one adopts this by this timeframe or is late in submitting (I won't accept anything thirty minutes past midnight), then this will get deleted.

I'm really sorry.

-Nikki


	4. Author's Note 2

Good news! Somebody has finally adopted this story! His/her name is legolasisdeath. They have recently PMed me to adopt Before It All and I have said yes, so you guys should watch out for that continuation. I don't want to see any backlash for him/her stealing my story or some bullshit. I told you in the previous Author's Note and in the description that I want someone to adopt this and now I'm telling you someone had and I gave them permission to do so. Okay? Awesome.

-Nikki


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